


Left on Read

by ScottishTea



Category: BnHA, Boku no Hero Academia, My Hero Academia, mha
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Endeavor’s A+ parenting, M/M, Midoriya Izuku is a Ray of Sunshine, Short Story, Soulmate AU, Todoroki Shouto Needs a Hug, big time, mentions of abuse, soulmate, tododeku - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-07 12:50:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14671461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScottishTea/pseuds/ScottishTea
Summary: In Shouto’s opinion, soulmates are nothing but pain and torture. Seeing those marks appear on your skin is a death sentence. The end of innocence. The beginning of an age of false hope and crushed dreams.For Izuku, soulmates are a paradigm of hope. A promise that no matter what trials life throws your way, there is a person waiting at the end of the rainbow to love you unconditionally.And yet, for all the messages Izuku writes on his arm that fade away into nothingness, not one is answered.A BNHA soulmate AU in which soulmates can communicate through writing on skin.





	1. Hopeless, Joyless, Quirkless

Shouto had not had a good life.

 

That much was obvious. With a father like Endeavor, it was impossible to expect anything else.

 

The memories of his father’s rampages are permanently seared into Shouto’s mind. Memories of his mother, cowering on the floor, while Endeavor screams and his hands leave stinging marks and those flames burn so, so bright. His mother, crying and writing shaky messages on her bruised forearm to seek consolation from a soulmate that she has never met.

His mother, staring at her youngest son with cold, cold eyes as she dumps boiling water over his left side.

 

And yet, not even that day could hurt as much as the second the first message appeared on his skin. _Hello?_

All those years of waiting and dreading and hoping– not praying because what merciful god would ever give him a life like this– that he would be one of the lucky few who did not have a soulmate.

That message appeared, and just like that, Shouto stopped hoping for anything.

 

Why would he want a soulmate that he would likely never meet? Why would he want the curse of being so close to yet so far from someone who was supposed to make his life better? No one could make his life better. Shouto was a black hole of despair, pulling in anything good and destroying it completely.

His mother had been good. She had stayed with Endeavor for Shouto’s sake, relying on the false hope of her soulmate to come and save her, and look what had happened. Her soulmate hadn’t come, and she’d cracked under the overwhelming pressure.

 

No, soulmates weren’t a blessing. They were a curse. Shouto’s life had been cursed enough, and he refused to rely on anyone or be relied on to swoop in and save the day.

 

_Hello?_

 

The blocky black writing that adorned his forearm faded away, and Shouto did nothing.

 

  
            ~ ~ • ~ ~ • ~ ~ • ~ ~ 

 

 

    “Hah! _Quirkless_ Deku! That’s so totally typical of a _crybaby_ like Deku. I bet you don’t even have a soulmate!”

    Kacchan’s words pierce his skin like daggers and Izuku can’t help but flinch. Being quirkless is one thing, but not having a soulmate as well?

 

    Ever since he was old enough to know what a soulmate was, Izuku had been curious. What would his soulmate be like? Would they send him small doodles throughout the day? Heartfelt messages? Would they be kind? Either way, little Izuku didn’t mind. The knowledge that someone, somewhere, would love him unconditionally was enough for him, no matter who they were or what they were like.

 

    That’s why his childhood friend’s taunting words are like red hot irons on his soul. Dragging perhaps his greatest fear out into the open and stomping all over it. And the worst part is that there is nothing Izuku can say.

 

Because he fears it might be true.

 

    So while Kacchan laughs “Quirkless Deku! Forever alone Deku! Crybaby Deku!”, Izuku sits there and struggles to hold the weight of his dread like Atlas holding the sky.

   

    Those words replay in Izuku’s head for weeks. _I bet you don’t even have a soulmate!_ Night after night he sits in his room, staring at the pale skin of his forearm and begging and praying and hoping against hope that those inky black characters he’s seen so many times on so many arms shimmer to life on his own. And night after night, the only marks he falls asleep with are the tear tracks on his cheeks.

    Night after night, he sits with a pen poised over his arm, trying to work up the courage to send a simple message. Night after night, he drops the unused pen on the floor.

 

What kills Izuku most is the uncertainty. That he’ll send a message that will fizzle out because it has no arm to travel to. Because if that happens it’s true. It’s all true. He will be without a quirk and without a soulmate and truly, truly, he will have no place in this world.

 

One of those nights, he finally can’t take it anymore.

 

With trembling fingers and a shaking pen he spells out _Hello?_ on his forearm. It dissolves into nothingness seconds later. Immediately he feels a load lift from his very soul.

_It sent. It sent. It sent._

The minutes tick by as he tensely waits for an answer. Nothing.

He sends a few more. His arm remains as blank as it had been all his life.

 

Izuku learns two things that night.

The first is that not all soulmates talk to their significant others.

The second is that his soulmate was hurting. Izuku could feel it in his bones, an undeniable sensation of agony and grief and brokenness. He never thought silence could say more than words, but the lack of answers tells him everything he needs to know.

 

    His soulmate was hurting. His soulmate needed help.

Izuku might’ve been quirkless, but even he could do that. Even he could be a hero for the person who needed it most.

 


	2. Good night :)

 

   Shouto’s attention is drawn to his palm when he sees the familiar drawings snake their way across the rough skin.

    Flowers, vines, animals. Even the occasional All Might doodle. The usual.

 

    They fade away seconds later, and still Shouto makes no move to reply.

 

    His soulmate was persistent.

 

For the life of him, Shouto couldn’t understand why. Surely, an unresponsive soulmate is a glaring sign that they want to be left alone.

    Yet, despite the countless silent rejections, his soulmate still sends messages.

 

    They must be desperate for someone to love, Shouto muses. Or perhaps they want him to save them from something, as his mother had.

    Either way, Shouto refused to take part in their wild fantasies. He would not give himself false hope. Not again.

 

    The bell rings to snap him from his thoughts. Lunchtime.

 

Lunch has never been very important to Shouto. It’s a time for refueling and nothing else, but things have changed.

    Shouto sits there, surrounded by _friends_ for the first time in his life, and he marvels at how much has changed since he came to UA.

 

    No, that’s not entirely right.

    Things didn’t change when he entered UA. Things changed when he met Midoriya Izuku.

    Even now, doing something as menial as eating lunch, Midoriya is the brightest person Shouto has ever laid eyes on. He shines so brightly with inner light it’s impossible to stare for too long, lest his eyes be burned.   

    Shouto idly wonders how a world that produced himself could also produce someone like Midoriya.

 

    The subject at the table has turned to soulmates. Shouto retreats into some quiet place inside himself, attempting to gain distance from the conversation. He hates this. He hates hearing the same selfish opinions and statements over and over again.

 

    And without fail, his classmates spout out the same things everyone does.

    _I don’t mind who it is, as long as they love me._

_We talk every day, you know? It’s so nice._

_I seriously want to meet them in person._

_My soulmate needs me._

What?

 

    Shouto looks up at the speaker of those last few words. Midoriya sits there, an incredibly sad expression on his face. For just a few moments, that cheerful facade has broken, and Shouto can see an entirely new side to this boy he thought he knew. A side of… pain? Worry? Grief?

But under that sadness, under all that strange grief, there’s something unexpected. Steely determination. “My soulmate is hurting. They need me. I won’t let them down.”

   

    He doesn’t grieve for himself, for his own loneliness and pain. He grieves for his soulmate. For a person he doesn’t know.

 

Though his eyes ache from his friend’s inner brilliance, Shouto has a hard time keeping his gaze off Midoriya for the rest of lunch.

 

           ~ ~ • ~ ~ • ~ ~ • ~ ~

   

    Time passed after that day at lunch, but Shouto can’t seem to get Midoriya’s words out of his head.

    He was struck by how different Midoriya’s attitude towards soulmates was. How little attention he gave to himself, and how much he gave to others. Surely, his intentions had to be some degree of selfish? Shouto had been convinced all his life that when it came to soulmates, no one was selfless.

    But suddenly, he wasn’t so sure.

 

    Perhaps it’s those confusing thoughts swirling like a storm in his mind that lands him in this situation.

    Shouto sits next to Midoriya in the library, a heavy and comfortable silence enveloping them.

    They’re studying together. Well, Midoriya is. Shouto is glancing at the green haired boy from the corner of his mismatched eyes and wondering.

    He just doesn’t get it. Not at all.

 

There’s a video replaying in his mind’s eye, the words echoing continuously.

_My soulmate is hurting. They need me. I won’t let them down._

_My soulmate is hurting. They need me. I won’t let them down._

_My soulmate is hurting. They need me. I won’t let them down._

The words puzzle him. They chill him to his core. They crack the ice surrounding his heart. They terrify him and yet he is drawn to them. He doesn’t understand.

 

    A question burns on the tip of his tongue, so hot and so heavy that Shouto could almost be convinced it was his quirk acting up.

   

    “What did you mean by those words?”

 

What? Was that him? His lips had moved without permission. When had that happened?

 

    Midoriya turns his attention to Shouto, head cocked and emerald eyes sparkling in confusion. “Hmm? What words?”

 

    Shouto barely realizes he’s speaking again before he hears his own voice over the blood thumping through his ears. “The other day, you said something about your soulmate. How do you know they’re hurting?”

 

    An unfamiliar, unidentifiable emotion curls onto Midoriya’s face and he looks at his arm with soft, soft eyes.

    “I’ve been messaging them since I was young. Not once in all these years have they responded. I know they’re seeing the messages, though. They’re just… not ready to answer me yet. They must be in pain. That’s why I have to find them, you see? So I can tell them face to face that I don’t hate them for being silent.”

    Midoriya looks back at Shouto, and there it is again; that determination unlike anything Shouto has ever seen.

    And Shouto can’t look away.

 

Midoriya smiles shyly and rubs his neck, as if embarrassed about oversharing. “Ah, sorry. I distracted you, didn’t I? I’ll let you get back to work.”

    Silence overtakes them again.

    But Shouto doesn’t miss the tiny, almost subconscious motion Midoriya makes to draw a small star on the inside of his wrist.

 

    And unbeknownst to both boys, the tiny star shimmers to life on the inside of Shouto’s downturned wrist.

   

          ~ ~ • ~ ~ • ~ ~ • ~ ~

 

    Fate is a strange concept.

A guiding power that shapes every miniscule detail and paramount event of one’s life. The idea that everything happens for a reason.

 

Destiny. Fortune. Luck. Providence. Divine will. Karma.

 

    So many names for a force many do not believe exists.

 

All his life, Shouto had been one of those people. One who never believed in anything like fate, because what kind of higher power would subject him to a life like this and claim there’s a reason?

    A malicious one, without a doubt.

 

Fate didn’t exist. Destiny didn’t exist. Love didn’t exist. There was only chance, and by chance he’d ended up like this.

 

But something has changed. Something small, so tiny it’s nearly indistinguishable from the roiling mass of hate and anger and fear that comprises Shouto’s soul. That little piece of _something_ pushes against the encroaching tide and it whispers _what if?_

 

What if? What if… what?

 

Looking back now, Shouto thinks that maybe fate was in control the whole time.

 

          ~ ~ • ~ ~ • ~ ~ • ~ ~    

 

Silence envelops the dorm, a thick blanket of quiet that lays heavy on one’s shoulders and muffles any and all noise. Even so early into the night, the only sonance to slice through the stillness is the steady _tick tick tick_ of a distant clock.

 

    The darkness presses down on Shouto’s eyes and the silence on his ears as he slips downstairs from his room.

     He'd had another nightmare. Though they'd been less frequent since he’d moved into the dorms, that night had been an exception. Another nightmare of Endeavor. Of his mother. Of his soulmate.

 

    So he’d woken suddenly, ice cracking over his right cheek and fire over his left, and the only thing he could think to do was go to the dorm's kitchen for water.

   

    Only, the kitchen wasn’t empty.

 

Midoriya Izuku stood in the dim kitchen, moonlight from a sole window illuminating his frame. He was holding a nearly untouched glass of water, simply leaning against the counter and staring at it absentmindedly with furrowed brows.

 

    Shouto froze. His instincts screamed at him to _move, move, move!_ Why, he couldn’t say. He wasn’t doing anything wrong by being there, but some unknown force told him not to disturb Midoriya and he obeyed.

   

   Yes, watching your classmate stand in a dormitory kitchen drinking water in the middle of the night is usually considered rather strange. But Shouto can’t seem to tell his feet to move. _Just wait till he leaves._ _Nothing wrong with that._

 

    Seeming to snap suddenly out of his thoughts, Midoriya heaves a resigned sigh and replaces the glass on the counter. For a moment, Shouto thinks he’s going to leave. But Midoriya hesitates. Instead, he turns and picks up a pen on the counter to scribble something on his forearm.

 

   A note to his soulmate.

“Good… night… smiley face…” Midoriya mutters unconsciously as he writes. The action and message are strangely adorable.

 

And strangely familiar.

 

Shouto’s eyes are dragged from Midoriya’s forearm to his own. And there, as if from a dream, he sees the words _good night_ shimmer into existence, punctuated by a small smiley face.

  
_No way_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I really don’t have an excuse for why this is so late except that writer’s block is a bitch ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Seriously though, I don’t know if this would’ve ever gotten done if it hadn’t been for the support of my best friend. ily halo <3
> 
> Hope y’all liked this word vomit stew thing

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter two coming (hopefully) soon!  
> I’m trying out a new writing style so let me know what you think ;3


End file.
